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Monday, April 6, 2009

The new me Part 2







OK I've finally got some time to sit down and tell you some more of my adventure.
This is a photo of our last sunrise after just finishing our Tai Chi on the platform, so beautiful.






We had a few speakers come in over the time that we were there and they were really interesting. The first was a natropath/nurse who talked to us all about blood. You know that thing that visits every corner of our bodies that we never give a second thought to unless we see it or we have to give it. She did a live blood analysis for each of us and we got a half hour consult which was so interesting. As she explained your live blood can tell so much about your health that isn't able to be found when it has died ( after about 20mins) which it well and truly has by the time it is looked at traditionally.

So the diagnosis from my blood was that my immune system is fabulous. I have very strong well formed white blood cells. They were great you get to watch it on a screen and they are like big white jelly fish constantly changing shape and pushing through the red blood cells. My red blood cells where good but a little overlapping which would be fixed with more omega 3 in my diet. The presence of some cobweb looking material was evidence of some liver problems (alcohol and poor diet) and some lack of B12. Nothing that can't be helped with some dietary changes and a decent dose of omega 3. Really very interesting, would love to go back and see what it's like in a few months to see whats changed. Might have to find someone closer to home who does this.

Another of the speakers was a lady called Wendy Parker who is a Co-Dependency Lecturer,Addiction & Alcohol Dependency Counsellor who also has worked with Dr Sandra Cabot for years. She has just finished writing a book on Co-dependency which she gave us some copies of pages. I never really thought of myself as a co-dependent but when she starts to describe them I was nodding a great deal. Especially at the "can't take any type of criticism". OMG that's so me, Jus can't stand it and wonders why I totally crack the shits. We did have a chuckle over that when I told him.

I have had a few blows this weekend which have dulled my shine a little. These did not however result in a full blown pity party and I've managed to put some of my coping mechanisms into place. We had a wedding on the weekend for one our staff members who just happens to be totally gorgeous. Her size 6 yes 6 wedding dress was so gorgeous. She played at a national level in water polo so therefore most of her friends where fit and gorgeous also. It was hard being the largest person at a function again! Also didn't help that F my other worker who has had a lap band asked how much weight I'd lost at my retreat and I told her 3kgs. Her reply was "Oh well, I suppose 3kgs is better than none. WTF!!! Anyway that is also a co-dependent fault that I value other peoples thinking and opinions over my own. I know 3kgs in a week is awesome so why did that sting so much? We also have difficulty accepting compliments so I suppose it's a double edge sword. The problem is when the photos come out and you don't recognise the person in them to be you. Who's that you ask yourself, is that really what I looked like? That's not how I felt, is that really what other people saw?? So I've been grappling with this the last few days but have handled it much better than I would have in the past. I also know I'm making changes that will pay off in the long term.

Here's a few more photo's including one of me with Mark and my sister moments after smashing through our boards - he's even still in his board smashing PJ's

PS. For all of us drought stricken people down south check out the green grass behind us!! I had forgotten that grass could be that green.



Thursday, April 2, 2009

The new me

For years now I have battled the fat demons in my head. This battle has been going on for so long that I can't even clearly remember when it started. I have tried over the years numerous things to get my head fixed some have helped, some have hindered some have made no fucking difference at all. That was until last week, when I had the most fortunate experience. I got to spend 7 days with my oldest sister and a man who has the best range of party tricks I have even seen.

I took a gamble, after all the things I tried it would have been easy to think that it wasn't worth it. I will be forever grateful for the decision to go to my Think Slim 7 day retreat. What made it so special? So many things, I got to spend a week focusing on me!

A typical day at the retreat included starting the day at 6:45am with Tai Chi on top of the hill in front of the most fantastic view with the sun rising out of the sea on the horizon. This was followed by 15-20 mins of mediation in the rain forest healing room. All days included 3-4 hours of activity throughout the day. There was no starchy carbs, coffee, alcohol or added sugar and we just felt better and better as each day went by. In fact in our breaks we were looking for activities to do including tennis, walking, hill walks etc. On top of all of these things we got to clear out so many limiting beliefs that we had carried around with us for so long. Many of them we didn't even realise that we had. There were tears, laughter that we couldn't control, serenity that I haven't felt for a long time and strength that I didn't know I had.



One of the most amazing things that I did was to break a piece of wood with my bare hands and the power of my mind. Yes that's right I did it and yes it hurt but it was the best pain I have felt since the birth of my babies. Here's a picture of my board
, that bit of wood will not be messing with me again!! lol

We had a few days to decorate it, on the front we had to put all our goals that we wanted to achieve and on the back we had to write all the things that were holding us back. The idea being that when we broke through we smashed all our limiting thoughts with our goals. It was the best feeling and I promptly burst into tears and feel into the arms of my sister who had already done hers and was crying. It was at that moment that it was cemented. This was worth fighting for and we were so totally capable of doing it.

Mark uses a variety of methods to get his message across and to clear your head to make the path you need to follow so easy to focus on it is like a laser. I know what I have to do and I know where I am heading. I have a time frame and actions steps that are not negotiable. I must put them into action everyday to get where I want to be. It's like a building myself a new home. It's tough and hard work sometimes when you are building but so worth it when you move in and enjoy. The maintenance is much easier than the building and you get to enjoy it every day.

I will post more in the coming days as I have so much more to share, thanks for being so interested guys. It really was fantastic and if you are thinking that you might look into this all I can say is DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW!!!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Who left all this shit on my desk

So here I am trying to have a life that has systems and order I sit down to start my work but firstly I have to make some space in all the shit that has been left on my desk.

Here's a quick list (all of which belong to people who are 8 and under)

Glitter glue
Beanie
Necklace
Earpiercing spray
water bottle
cd
beados creation
Anklet
Bracelet
Sand art in cups
jewellry box - might be a good place to put above jewellry items, just a thought
toothbrush - no clue
ds charger

No wonder I can't get anything done around here.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

This is just so it hasn't been 9mths since my last post

I know I've been ridiculously slack in blogging but I will be returning, when I have time. The room that is my office is also temporarily Miss 8's bedroom so no more night time computer for me which is when I usually did my blogging. Now that both my kidlets are at school hopefully I will have more time during the day.

Good news is I have managed to achieve lots of things on my list which is kinda exciting and I'm aiming to complete even more before my birthday comes rolling around again.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

My List

Wow it's been a while. Just been trawling some really amazing blogs and found they had some lists of things that they want to do in the next 12mths after their b'days. Seeing as mine is coming up I thought I'd start my own.

1. Finish writing in Amelie's journal the story of her birth.
2. Write Ali a letter to tell her how proud I am of the beautiful girl she has grown into.
3. Run in a 10km fur run.
4. Do my first PT session.
5. Go out with my man on a date at least once a month.
6. Plan and complete the extension of our house.
7. Have a fabulous bath to soak my bones in.
8. Go and see 5 bands play live.
9. Plant a vegie patch.
10. Give my body 2 months of not poisoning it with all the things it reacts to.
11. Spend more time with my friends.
12. Go on 2 holidays.
13. Walk the bay to bay walking trail.
14. Draw.
15. Park and walk to school one morning a week.
16. Do a time management course.
17. Go away for the weekend with my sisters.
18. Do the harbour bridge climb.
19. Exercise at least 3 times a week.
20. Plan a great b'day celebration.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

My weightloss angel is leaving for Canada




Just got news that the person who has helped me more in the last 10 years than anyone with my weightloss and food mental issues is leaving to live in Canada. This really freaks me out and I can't stop crying everytime I think about it. I don't know what I'm going to do without her and the thought of doing this without her or the consequences of not having her to help me is very scary. I will make a time to see her this week to try and get some focus and strategies to prepare for life without her.

As part of my getting my focus back i wanted to brain storm some ideas to get back to basics and remember all the reasons why I started this journey.

The reasons I want to lose weight and be healthy in no particular order are -

  • I want to have a full fashionable wardrobe

  • I want to feel sexy and confidant everywhere I go (swimming, beach, parties, etc)

  • I want to be fit and healthy, even when i'm 70.

  • I want my kids to be proud of me.

  • I want to be a good role model for them and I want them never to have to deal with the issues I have.

  • I want to be able to run faster.

  • I want my husband to be able to lift me (not for extended periods of time)

  • I want Miss 7 to be able to get her arms around me and even Miss 4.

  • I want to be in photos and like what I see.

  • I want to be proud of my body.

  • I want to beat these demons in my head and never let them get the better of me again.

  • I want to be the master of maintaining not always trying to lose.

  • I want to look down and see pubes not an apron of tummy (in private, not while I'm out)

  • I want my hand to do the waving not my upper arm.

  • I want to stop wondering if everyone is judging me for being overweight.

  • I want to stop judging myself and be kinder.

That's all I can think of now, but here's an old before photo I found to keep in perspective just how far I've come.





Monday, January 14, 2008

Opening Day!!


Well today is the opening day of our new business. It's a drive through coffee place, heaven for Mum's and people on the road all day. It's very exciting and a little scary at the same time. Even though we have been in the coffee business for 5 years now this type of thing is new and a bit unknown.


I have been really sick with a flu virus which knocked us for 6, so am hoping to be able to get back into my exercise over the next few days. I am participating and helping to organise a Biggest Loser Challenge on the ww boards for the next few months. There have been a few great loses and I don't want to get left behind so I will have to get my act together.


Just for a giggle here's a copy of a card my darling sister gave me last week....one of my old excuses.